LOL

Saturday, April 10, 2010
My life is screwed..
ADELINE!! from URL @ 7:20 PM

Life is full of ups and downs. Life is full of uncertainties. Life is always unfair. Well, it all explains how I feel right now and I guess there's still more to come.. I've done so much to prove my worthiness because of what happened that fateful year. Because I know people will harp on it if I don't do something about it. But people, whom I think really don't deserve it, who did not do anything and even constantly skipping guides and our little meetings got what I deserve. Sigh. Honestly, when people ask her, what are you contribution in your 4 years in Guides? If I were here, I would be speechless and embarrassed.

Well, at least I wouldn't be speechless? :) And at least, my conscience is clear and at least, in future, I know I can face it with no regrets. You? I don't know and I don't want to know.

About my attitude, I cried during the promotion, I'm very sorry because I know I'm already suppose to be a good example and I don't want history to repeat itself. So I've to control my emotions and get a hold of myself if it is necessary. I am sorry about it. Sometimes, it's just beyond my means.

Thanks everybody who tried to cheer me up. I am very grateful and sorry. :) All the best seniors. :) All the best and take care. I'll always love you. :)

For now, I'm just gonna continue contributing. I won't care about what the juniors think? Because somehow, there are 1 CL, 2 ACLs. The respect I would get will be different because there would be misunderstanding that I'm as good as the sec 2s and that damn egg. And I also understand that, respect can be earned and it's better to be. So I'm just gonna work hard and earn the junior's respect from scratch like what I did in sec 2.

I guess my life is all about working hard and not taking the easy way out. I have resigned to fate and accpeted the fact. I'm not lucky but I still hope I will someday. Even if it's just a little, it will do. :) I will help my CL and ACLs. :) Because I love them and I will share their load. :) It's out of good will, I know it's very taxing because.. (confidential but it's not because I wanna take over or whatever, I'm hinted..)

Anyway, for now, sc is also another thing, don't even know whether I'll be in sc? So.. Sigh.

Sigh, for now, I don't know anything. I'll just fulfil my duties.

template by seven ten design